Her true feelings
by carlmuz
Summary: Konan loves them all, but unable to tell them. With a little help from Pein, would she finally be able to tell the members of the Akatsuki that she cares deeply for them?


Hi there, everyone. I just came up with this story and hope that you will like it. I just got the inspiration and wrote this down right away. I'm just attracted to the idea of Konan cares for all of them but unable to express it in words. Maybe because it relates to me in one way or another. Enough of that, let's move on to the story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

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Konan has always known her reason of fighting was because of love. No matter how fierce she is in the battlefield, she finds herself to be regretting something else. Her inability to express her love verbally to the ones she loves. Konan is not actually a person of words; she is the one to stay out of the spotlight when it comes to conversations.

She only speaks when necessary, or whenever her mood is better than usual. But still, she really hopes that she can at least tell _them _how she feels about them. Them, the only friends she has right now and the closest to a family. Members of the Akatsuki organization.

She wishes to be able to tell Pein that she loves him, instead of going into his room late at night to make sure he sleeps well, fixes his pillow or blanket, or even cleans up the scrolls and maps scattered across his room. She wishes to be able to tell him how much he means to her, instead of following him around like a lovesick schoolgirl and carries out his every orders without even the slightest objection.

She will give anything to be able to tell Kisame she loves him, than just make his favourite dish to make him happy, or being the first one to volunteer to look after his fish whenever he goes out for missions. At least a simple word of appreciation would be nice but she just can't. She will always watch for him as a way to express her love but never once did spoke of it to him.

Konan also watches for Itachi whenever she sees him walking down their long hallway alone. His eyesight has becoming worse, and whenever he trips over a rock or something, she would be by his side as quick as lightning. She could not say anything further than "Good luck," whenever the young man sets off for mission with Kisame. Even when he had once let Kisame walked ahead and clearly waited for her to say something more.

Konan once nearly successful in telling Deidara how much she cares for him, if it wasn't for Hidan's scythe suddenly came towards their direction with a frantic looking Hidan yelling for them to get down. But Konan is sure Deidara knows just how much she cares for him when she pushed him out of the way and took the blow herself. Konan spent three weeks off missions from the injury yet she still is the first one to offer herself to watch every single new move the youngest Akatsuki member had practiced.

Konan wishes that she can say to Hidan that she loves him and cares for him, instead of just standing up to him against the other angry members when his scythe injured her left shoulder so severe that she was unable to use her left arm for two full weeks. Still she took the trouble to sew back his head when he got into a quarrel with Kakuzu, using her right hand even though she is not really good in sewing, and she is left handed.

Konan knows that Kakuzu is too old for her to care for like she did with the rest of the members. He must be 90 something, and she sees him as an elder brother figure even though he is about 4 times her age, knowing he will kill her on the spot if she calls him Grandpa. She turns to him for advice, and even sometimes offers herself to join him on his bounty hunt every time Hidan refuses to waste his free time. Konan knew that Kakuzu knows how she truly feels about him, about them. She just knew from his words and actions, and the way he nudges her gently every time she tries to tell anyone to be careful on their missions.

Sasori is another person besides Kakuzu that she is sure knows how she really feels about them, despite her being quiet and stays out from any of their games or conversations. And Konan is just content just by being able to help him with his puppets and willing to stay up late just to accompany him with his artwork.

Zetsu is the strangest person she has ever met, but still she loves him. Whenever she and Pain travels to somewhere, Konan always make sure that she will bring any of the rare plants she found for Zetsu's garden. It is also because of her persuasion did Pain agreed to use his rain technique to water the garden whenever he is away with his own missions.

Konan finds out that the only person she can ever say "I love you," is Tobi, with his childish demeanor, but still it is still not satisfying. She is not able to say it from her heart, though he had created so many chances for her to do so, saying how he "likes" her because she is the only one patient enough to put up with his antiques.

Konan had always known that her past affected her greatly even to this day. Since the day she watched her parents died in front of her eyes, she never thought that she will find love again. Boy, was she wrong? She found them, in the most unlikely place. When everyone feared and hated every single members of the Akatsuki, Konan found herself loving and caring for them. Much like a mother would to her children.

She cares for them, and looks after their needs. She cooks and cleans for them, and in the same time goes on missions. She enjoys doing the chores, especially for them. She makes sure that they are well cared for, and always in top condition to fight. That includes nutritious food, clean environment, clean clothes, emotional support and some other things.

Konan even goes as far as sneaked into their rooms at night to make sure they sleep well and comfortable, in the while tidy up their living quarters. She does everything a real mother does, though only one thing she never did since her parents died. She never told anyone how much they mean to her. The truth is Konan is afraid. She is afraid to love anymore, not after what happened to her parents.

Everyone she loves was gone, perished in the war. She had had enough pain of losing them, and refused to let herself hurting once more. That is the reason why she finds it hard to say that she loves them all. Konan stays out from their activities, fearing that she will become more attached to them, but she couldn't fool her heart, and her actions just revealed to her about true feelings.

What else do you name it the feeling of content she got just by watching them sleep peacefully? And the strong feeling to tuck them properly and kiss their foreheads? Nothing else can make her stay up late whenever one of them is injured just to tend to their wounds, aside from love, right?

Right now, she had just finished visiting their rooms and sat contently in the kitchen with a mug of hot coffee to accompany her. She planned to prepare breakfast soon, after she finished her drink.

"You wouldn't need to prepare breakfast, Konan," she looked up when she heard Pein's voice out of the dark. "They will set off to missions in ten minutes and had just ready," she could hear a mischievous tone in his voice. She finished the last sip of her coffee and walked towards him who was leaning against the wall that separated their kitchen from the living room.

"You really sure to let them go this early without breakfast? I can fix something real fast," she offered but he shook his head. "Maybe you might want to use it to say something to them?" she paused in mid action. "Like what, Pein?" he chuckled lowly without even looking at her.

"Anything. Tell them to be careful, or take care. Anything that is better than a good luck. This is a very dangerous mission, I might remind you," she walked up to him and tried to look into his eyes. "You know it's hard for me, Pein," she tried to make him understand her feelings. Pein looked at her before looking away.

"It's time to let go the past. This might be your last chance, who knows? You will lose the chance to tell them about it," she knew right away what he meant. Konan sighed heavily and walked past him.

"I have tried Pein. I have tried to tell each and every one of them I love and care deeply for them, but I just can't. I can't even tell you how much you mean to me! I am afraid, that I will lose one of you guys. No matter how hard I try to deny it, I just can't lie to myself that I am afraid every time one of you got injured in missions. I am afraid that I'll lose the people I care so much and the ones I hold dear to my heart. I am not strong enough to say that I love each and every single one of you, because I'm afraid I will get hurt again," tears had made its way to her eyes, something she haven't expected, as much as she didn't expect herself to burst like that.

"Wow, that must be the most touching words I ever heard, un! Guys, did you hear that?" she stopped dead on her tracks when she looked into the living room. How she wished to disappear from her place right now. Deidara was sitting on his clay bird, and Sasori leaned against it with a smirk on his features.

Kisame filled up a couch, with his Samehada by his side and a wide grin on his face, Itachi leaning against the wall beside him with his arms across his chest. "Every single word of it. I must admit, you are quite a dramatic, Konan. It's good to know that you didn't loath me after all," he said with a rare smile.

Konan was blushing bright red by now, every single pair of eyes were at her. Hidan even laughed at her after hearing her words. Luckily Kakuzu was courteous enough to tell him to calm down, before she turned redder. She can't believe it; she had never blushed this hard before!

Zetsu was standing against the wall next to her, wearing a mocking smile on his face. Tobi jumped excitedly saying he loves her too at the top of his lungs. "There, it wasn't so hard was it?" Pein appeared next to her and wrapped an arm around her figure. He kissed the top of her head and said warmly. "Thank you for all the things you've done for us," the rest of them nodded.

"Don't worry Konan, now we know how you truly feel about us," Kakuzu offered her some comfort in his words. Konan nodded shyly. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all.

At least she is free to show her affection towards them. Them, her newfound family.

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Well, I just like the idea Konan cares for them deeply. anyway, thank you for reading! Please review and have a great day! :-)


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